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Monday, April 28, 2008

"I Just Wanted to Shake the Little Bastard..."

I quit my job today. I walked into my manager's office, threw my two weeks' notice on his desk, and stormed out of his office.

Ok. Not completely true. I basically accosted the manager out on the floor while he was walking with the other managers, jammed an envelope in his hand, and stared at my feet while he grilled me about the contents of the envelope. I muttered something about it being my notice and watched him turn purple with rage.

"This really isn't the way to give me your notice. Out on the sales floor? IN FRONT OF PEOPLE?"

Whoops. I knew it was going to be dramatic and uncomfortable but I hadn't exactly planned on getting yelled at for quitting. After leading me into his office to tell me how "shocked and upset" he was that I was leaving, he then asked the super important, all consuming question:

"Was it something I did?"

Hmm. Let's see...was it something you did? I'll have to think about that and get ba.........
Yes. It's something you did. Some THINGS you did in fact. Like not so subtly implying that I stole the beautiful yellow retro bracelet that I bought the day it came in. And yelling at me for not answering my phone when I was in the ladies' room. You storming into my office at 5:30 at night (when I technically only work until 5) and telling me how shocked you are that I'm sitting in my office at that time of night when I have so much to do. Oh and you telling me what I'm supposed to be doing every minute of every day and once it's done, telling me I did it wrong.

On second thought, maybe I'll stay!

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