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Saturday, April 12, 2008

"I'll Leave You to Look for Your Crack..."

It's been ages since I've made a blog entry. In fact I haven't thought about "blogging" since my ill-fated encounter with the world of MySpace idiocy. There's something about being separated from someone by miles of network cable that gives morons the courage to say things they wouldn't normally say to someone's face because IRL (In Real Life) it would get them shoved off a bridge. However, I miss shamelessly catering to my demographic, ie: my real friends who enjoy reading about the asinine idiocy that IS my life.

Without yet providing any background about my recent career choice, I will first share a quick conversation had between my good pal Crystal and one of the less than stellar MENSA candidates (insert sarcasm) who is one of the managers. For purposes of protecting the innocent (read: slightly less than averagely intelligent) we shall call said manager...Manager. The creative genius is back people.

Manager is wandering around with a packet of papers in one hand, a pen in the other, seemingly staring into space with a rather confused expression on his face. He paces a bit, jots something on his paper then moves on. As Crystal and I continue our conversation, Manager gets a little closer and seems to be staring right at us for some reason. It bears noting that this particular manager is known for being a tad socially awkward and occasionally mildly creepy so when he approaches us, Crystal is already backing away before Manager has the chance to invade her bubble (personal space the memo). Finally Crystal and I ask the burning question...

"What the hell are you doing?"

Manager says in his most professional, game show host voice, "Why, I'm doing a safety audit. I'm supposed to be finding cracked floor tiles. Do you have any cracked floor tiles?"

Crystal smiles sweetly and says, "No I don't thank you. We're going to go eat lunch now. I'll leave you to look for your crack..."

Sadly the joke was lost on him while I tried to keep from laughing out loud at Crystal's unintended double entendre.

And Crystal, no I don't want to come over and "sniff your stuff".

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