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Friday, December 5, 2008

Paste's Continued Rules of Professionalism

Also known as, "Don't ask- don't tell."

One morning Nick walked into the classroom wearing his trademark gray hoodie over a white t-shirt, baggy jeans, and dirty white sneakers. However, this particular morning, he had topped his outfit with a major case of bed head, purple Mardi Gras beads, and a pair of chemistry goggles. He also happened to be carrying the leg of a chair with him.

Now, I pride myself on my instincts and this particular morning, my gut was telling me I really didn't want to know. I started to ask who in the hell had let him out of the unit looking like that, but I stopped myself and went about the morning routine as if nothing was different.

Next to enter my room was Ethan, an adolescent boy who had openly admitted to me that he was having some major gender conflicts. This was the day he chose to turn up wearing a skirt, a jeweled tanktop, and pink barrettes in his spiky blonde hair. Again, I chose not to ask. To each his own.

Remember, however, that Nick was not exactly a tolerant individual. He had a lot of difficulty accepting other people's quirks and oddities and Ethan was one of those kids that just regularly pushed all of Nick's buttons without even realizing it.

Both the boys sit down and class commences while I'm still wondering why in the hell Nick is sitting at his desk with the wooden chair leg in his lap, the chemistry goggles now pushed up on his head so he can read, causing his hair to stick up even more wildly than it was before. Finally I couldn't take it anymore.

"Nick, why in the hell do you have the leg of a chair with you? And who let you out of the unit looking like the Unabomber on acid?"

"No one. I just walked up here like this." Then he looks down at the giant blunt object in his hand. "And this is a child beating stick. Want to try it Miss Kate?"

I slapped myself in the forehead. I left myself wide open for that one. As usual. "No thanks Nick. I'm good."

He shrugs. "Ok, well I'm going to go beat the gay out of Ethan real quick. I'll be right back."

"Ok Nick, no probl.... Wait, what did you just say? COME BACK HERE!!!!!"

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