Eating the Paste on Facebook

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Dear McDonald's,

I'm sorry for harassing your drive through employees.


So yeah, I'm guessing that by now there is a picture of my face with a caption reading "Do NOT Serve Food to this Woman" in every McDonald's in America. And maybe a couple in Canada. It all started last night when it began to snow like a bastard. By the time my friend B and I got up this morning, our cars were buried under a foot of snow so we decided to just stay in and do nothing. However, "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle" came on and we looked at each other, movie star style, and said, "McDonald's!" Still in our jammies, we went down to clean the snow off my dad's MINIVAN (my car blew a tire) and pulled out of the driveway. Well, not really. We tried to pull out of the driveway but we got stuck. In our jammies. For ten minutes we pushed the minivan, pulled the minivan, kicked the minivan.. No dice. Finally we pulled out the BROOM because we don't have a SHOVEL and started hacking away at the snow under the front end of the minivan. Thankfully that worked and we got out of the driveway with a minimum of swearing. We headed down the street to McDonald's and pulled up to the drive through where I promptly realized that the 4 piece chicken nugget is no longer on the Dollar Menu. Here's how the rest of it went:

"Welcome to McDonald's. Can I help you?" Or at least I think that's what he said.

"Yes can I get two double cheeseburgers, two 4 piece chicken nuggets, and two large fries?" I watch it all pop up on the screen... and then silence. Of course I took this as my cue to loudly bitch about the fact that inflation is a mother. "How the hell can they raise the price of chicken nuggets from $1 to $1.39? What the F*&K! God dammit. Bastards ruined my life."

Then I hear static and shuffling coming from the speaker, then a woman's voice, laughing hystercially says, "Can I get you anything else?"

Yes. My dignity back.

We pulled around to the window where all of the employees were bent over laughing. At my expense of course. The poor guy who originally took my order was still laughing so hard that when he reached for my debit card he was actually wheezing.

By the time our food was ready, every employee at the McD's drive through had pointed and laughed at the crazy lady in her puffy purple coat, flannel jammies, boots, and unbrushed hair.

"Would you like sauce with that?" Says the poor boy who still hasn't recovered from taking my order. "I kinda forgot to ask."

"Um yeah. Sweet and sour. Sorry. I guess I distracted you with my profanity. Sorry."

And there you have it. I apologized to the McDonald's drive through staff. Twice.


  1. Are you kidding? They probably want you to go now, just for the laughs.

  2. You know, you're right. It's a small town. Not a lot to do... Though there is a giant anatomically correct horse in the center of town....