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Saturday, August 22, 2009

No Rest for the Wicked

Artichoke- I've decided to amp up my Special Ed Cred and get my Doctorate in SPED. I'm really looking forward to it and hoping to God I get accepted so keep your fingers crossed for me!

I got up at the crack of dawn today (ok so maybe it wasn't the crack...) so I could go to Staples for Teacher Appreciation Day. It used to be that on this most holy day you would go to the store and they would hand you a totebag filled with goodies like lesson plan books, pencils, pens, erasers, and so on down the line. Hence why I dragged my ass out of bed when I really wanted to keep dreaming about being on assignment for National Geographic.

The store was supposed to open at 9 so I figured I would get there around 8:30 to beat the crowds and make sure I was in the front of the line. Totally unnecessary as there were only about 30 people there and they supposedly had enough supplies for 100. We all walked in- nice straight line, orderly, no pushing or shoving- where we were greated with a flier from a fitness place and a free sample of Mary Kay hand lotion. A Barbie sized sample of Mary Kay hand lotion. Not a good sign...Then we rounded a corner to get them...the totes. The Holy Grail. The reason I was out of bed and dressed before noon on a Saturday.

People who know me well know that I am a stationery addict. I collect pens, paper, and Post-Its like they're going out of style. If the apocolypse hits and I survive, the cockroaches and I will have a grand time writing sticky notes back and forth in multiple neon colors while the atmosphere around us belches green slime. This is the main reason that the idea of free swag at Staples thrills me no end. I imagine a tote bag full of shiny pens, paper that smells crisp and new, and thumbtacks in various rainbow colors. It makes me sigh with happiness.

Until I reach into my reusable bag that will most likely rip the first time I throw my lesson planner in it. Inside I found a plastic pencil box, a box of the crummiest pencils known to man, ONE mini mechanical pencil, ONE blue highlighter, a box of thumbtacks IN PRIMARY COLORS, and a two pack of eco friendly notepads the size of a postage stamp. I wanted to cry. I wanted to stamp my foot. I wanted to rail at Staples, yelling, "You've deceived me! You don't APPRECIATE me! You gave me CRAP!"

Unfortunately I was too tired for that type of dramatic display so instead I crawled back into my father's minivan with my bag-o-disappointment and drove sadly to my school where I proceeded to spend the next three hours decorating my classroom.

On a happy note, my classroom looks ROCKIN!


  1. I'm sorry to hear about your adventure at Staples, but it doesn't shock me. Places are cutting back on such freebies, and I'm not shocked about the bag-o-crap.

    Glad to hear that your classroom is set up. I know that's one of the hardest parts in the beginning of the school year.

  2. Hahahaha, I was wondering if Staples would go recessionista & give crappy supplies. If it makes you feel any better, I hung out for the AC man all morning only to discover that there's some electrical craziness going on & the AC won't actually turn OFF now until they come in with the company electrician to figure out why the green wires are doing what the black are supposed to, etc. My life on Mercury Retrograde, see also: disaster.